I suffer from depression. I am not depressed. There is a difference. I am not down, or sad, or without hope. It isn’t that I don’t realize how blessed I am or that I am unappreciative of the blessings I have. Nothing bad has happened, no one has upset me, and nothing is wrong.
It’s just that for the last couple of weeks, the world has felt a bit heavier than normal, and functioning within it has taken a lot more effort.
I don’t think there is a way to help those who don’t have it understand it; kind of like migraines. Until you have felt one yourself, you really have no idea. But I think it is important to discuss it, especially as the holidays approach.
Depression is an illness just like high blood pressure or diabetes. There are actions you can take, and medicines you can be prescribed which help, but it doesn’t change the fact that your body has the chemical predisposition to have them.
And it is painful. Not just ‘hurt your heart’ painful, but physically painful. When the world gets heavy, my entire body hurts. My legs ache, I have an upset stomach, and my hair is sore. I can’t explain it. It just hurts to breathe. And the only thing that brings comfort is just to curl up within the walls of my home and let it run its course.
Here is the amazing part: tomorrow morning I will step into the pulpit and immediately feel pure joy. I know I will. I always do. Even though it will take all my effort to shower and prepare, once I get there, the joy will flood over me, and for a few hours, the world won’t seem so heavy anymore. It doesn’t mean the depression is gone, just the Holy Spirit taking over to empower me to do what I am called to do.
I guess the point is this: let’s talk about depression. Let’s figure out ways to be present with those who have it without thinking we have to cheer them up. You can’t and trying to only makes it worse.
If I had high blood pressure, you would ask me how I was doing lately and if the medicine seemed to help. Do that. Without judgement.
For those of you out there who feel that the world is a bit heavier, get help. See your doctor and be honest about what you experience. Talk to a friend, a family member, your pastor. There isn’t anything broken in you, and in fact, while the world can get heavy and it takes time to process that, your ability to feel empathy and compassion make you the perfect person to check on someone else. Reach out. Ask them how they are feeling lately and if the new medicine is helping. Connection with another human being will be a soothing balm for you both.
Just love each other. And be proud of the beautiful version of God that you were specifically made to be. I will be praying that you feel better soon, and until then, I am here when you need me.
Be blessed my Facebook family. And be well.
asouthernpastor 